Me Stupid, Me Like Being Dumb

Only me. The amazing fucktardo could pull a bonehead maneuver like this. I honestly wonder how I even passed the 2nd grade with this little gem of idiocy. Ladies and gentlemen for you entertainment purposes, I present to you Sexyredkid. Winner of this years Most Blatantly Stupid Act.

I went to Seoul this past weekend. I went with several friends who wanted to go to the electronics bazaar to get some miscellaneous items. I went along with the intention of finding a Kinko's and printing my resume and the contract for my job in Japan (I don't have a printer and wouldn't use the one at work). After walking around this bazaar for several hours we decided to head back to Cheonan. My friend told me he could print the stuff from his work and I could mail it out Monday morning. First mistake. I get back to Cheonan and relax. Nothing special. Monday afternoon come's around and I call my friend and ask him if he had printed the documents up. He forgot. No biggy he'll do it later today and I can mail them Tuesday. I get the documents. I go back to my apartment Monday night. I prepare everything. Only something is amiss. Wait a minute. Where is the brown folder I had with me all day Saturday? The folder with my official University diploma? I
scoured my apartment and checked the street. I'm pretty sure I left it on the train. At this point it's irrelevant.

So because of this idiotic act, I was forced to send a copy of my diploma to the school in Japan. OK. Only problem is that Japanese immigration wants an official letter from the University stating that I escaped from their clutches with enough credits. The director of the school in Japan told me this today. She also said she was sorry, but she couldn't wait for the letter from the school. So she has to cancel our agreement. Which means no worky for Red in Japan. Double shitburger. Well, shit happens and it looks like I'm back to the drawing board for this Japan venture. On the upside I might be able to take that trip to the Fuji Rock Fest. I might also be able to see the Boca Jrs. play here in Korea.

It's time like this that I realize why we have alcohol. I'm off to drown my stupidity with more stupidity.

RED

PS The moral of the story? Don't be a fucking slacker and find the goddamn Kinko's.

Incredible Stupidity (Warning, Shock and Awe)

Around 2:30pm the other day, my boss relates to me a story. He is laughing and telling me how funny this story is. He then proceeds to tell me that one of our kindergarten students walked home from our school. The student was dropped off at our school by the bus at 9:30am. Our first classes start at 9:40am. For some reason unknown to me, he didn't walk up the stairs to the school. He then proceeded to walk home from our school. From our school to his house this is approximately 1.5 hours walking distance. I'm guessing it might take a 5 year old a little longer. My boss is laughing and telling me how funny it is that this kid was wondering around the city for several hours.

Me: Why didn't you call his mother when he didn't arrive for school?
Boss: He has been arriving late, I assumed he would be at school later.
Me: It's 2:30pm. You didn't bother to find out where he was until now?
Boss: No. I didn't have time.
Me: You don't teach any classes after 10:45am until now. What about the director? Could he have made a call?
Boss: It's not that important. He is at home now. (laughing)
Me: Oh my god. Dude, if you were in North America, you might get arrested for that kind of negligence. I can't believe you aren't concerned that a 5 year old boy was wondering the streets for several hours. This is ridiculous.
Boss (now turning a little more serious): Really?
Me: Yes.

The above is abbreviated. I just couldn't believe the sheer stupidity that was displayed on my schools behalf. Man was I pissed off. What the fuck? Does the kid have to get hit by a car, or heaven forbid something worse happen, before these idiots start to think?

Collosal Waste of Space

It's sometime late in the evening. The pollution is as overpowering as a 3 breasted hooker. Obviously the pollutants are clogging my brain train (come on soggy grey matter, we can get throught this). I was viewing some of the replies to my little piece of shit website, when I got the idea to look at some other "blogs". God, I fucking hate that word. Hey you G-O-D!!! How about using some of that omnipotency to strike down this dumbass word? It won't take up too much of your time.

Back to looking at these "blogs" (wait a minute, they were more like "blaaahs"). I was looking at these "blaaahs" and started to realize that the human race might be doomed. For fucks sake, do we really need to know that Sally from Lincoln, Nebraska just removed her special bran muffins from the oven? Naturally, we can just skip over these useless pieces of trash, but I'm saying "shit stick". These useless sites only reaffirm how stupid people are. I saw an entire "blaaah" about Darth Vader. I'm thinking cool, this guy is going to feature a bunch of cool Jedi swordplay, and talk about how badass Darth Vader is. Boy oh bullshit was I wrong! It seems that the author of this "blaaah", prefers to pretend he is Darth Vader and compose various pieces of prose. Now, "Darth" has taken to writing an ode to his mum. Since it was Mother's Day. What a jackass. Everyone know's that Darth Vader wouldn't waste his time writing a freakin' poem. He'd be out killing people or something. If not that he'd be choking someone to death from halfway across the galaxy for making him out to be such a sissy. I was just wondering, do they have Mother's Day in a galaxy far, far away?

All this typing has made my head woozy. I need to get back to drinking this beer. The Hite-Stout. What it should be called is this The Shite-Poop. Using only the shittiest rice ingredients. For your rectal displeasure.

I just found out the other day that North Korea makes beer. I'm going to try some before I leave.
Korea continues to be the land of paradoxicalness. In a country where they love small things (get your mind out of the gutter), why is it so hard to find an MP3 player with more than 1gb of memory? I can buy a kick ass computer for $600, but I can't find a bloody MP3 player that will hold a decent quantity of music. I ask the retailers, "MP3 player, 20 giga?" They look at me like I have a 3rd breast. They are shocked that such an item exists. But if I ask them about a computer I can get any answer I've wondered. I'm tired. I'm off to watch my blackmarket version of "The HitchHikers Guide to the Galaxy". I hope it works. If it doesn't then I'm going to throw my TV out the window. After that I'm going to take my computer and smash it over the head of the next person that walks down the street.

Actually, I'll just go back to the place I bought it from and get a new one next week. But I had you there for a minute didn't I? No? This beer makes me stupid.